The Lloyds

Now on to the important business.  Everyone but Heather Day is a total lame-o and forgot to submit their entry for the MadGab one hundred billion dollar giveaway so we are going to continue to play until all the zoofans unite and conquer this thing together.  The answer to the last phrase was in fact "changing diapers".

Time to play again.  Dew Hugh Billy Film Hatch Hick


Try not to be so lame this time.

Her eyes are pretty much always crossed but I was a little close here and they are a little worse than normal.  I thought it might be enjoyed.
Since Malachi is basically creating Mad Gab phrases with his "spells" I think that maybe we should try a few over here at the zoo.  Here is the first phrase up for decoding: Jane Gin Die Purse.  Answer to be revealed next week. Record your guesses in the comment section and I'll keep score.  Winner(which will be me because I don't lose at these games) will get a "new" dog.  Actually, runner up gets the dog.

Some of you kids might need some help with this one and some of you old farts might need a little refresher.  Adeline's real father (the donor) is Dr. Emmett Brown.  Identical.

I swear that I try my best to get food in this girl's mouth.  I guess we have some similar feelings about vegetables.  Luckily Bay-dog was close enough to get what Adeline was wearing.

Basically since school has been out for the quarter I have been so lazy that I haven't posted.  I guess that it is time for me to get back in this game (if this were high school basketball I would in fact stay on the bench regardless of what is happening).  I've got some pretty good pictures to share with everyone but I'll probably do it one at a time.  Before starting with the pictures I'm going to have to show the video that allowed Kimberly to stay sane while we were in Charlotte and Adeline was 400 miles away.  And here it is.

About three weeks ago I shared with you the fact that I had some news that was potentially life-altering.  Some of you speculated that Kimberly and I were having another child, wrong, or that I was going to challenge Ken Jennings' record on Jeopardy, wrong again (I only do things that are challenging), or that I had finally come up with an invention that would change billions of lives as well as make me trillions of dollars, wrong once again.  I guess I should put a stop to all of this speculation and blow your minds already.  On November 17, 2009 I participated in greatness.  My flag football team became the defending champions by dominating once again.  Here are the pictures to prove it.


A picture of the championship team in 2008.
And a picture of the championship team in 2009.
















Now you are all questioning, "How is this amazingness going to effect me and change my life?"  Well, let me lay it to you like this.  Basically, the OSU football team has contacted me after hearing of my big play potential and blazing speed and they want me to suit up and play in the Rose Bowl against Oregon.  After stunning the world by making Terrelle Pryor actually look like a good quarterback and winning a BCS game for OSU I will most likely enter the draft and be offered some serious cash money by whoever has the first pick in this year's draft (Cleveland Browns).  This 5yr two billion bone deal will be more than enough to allow me to live life comfortably and will also allow me to invest in some research opportunities.  This is where you guys come in.  It is at this point where all the zoofans will become primary research scientists at a salary of 430 g's/year.  The focus of this research will be to uncover facts that demonstrate that Al Gore is in fact an idiot and a fraud and that global warming is completely made up.  This shouldn't be hard to do so you can spend the rest of your time looking at YouTube videos then sharing the funny/amazing ones with me.  


See, I didn't lie.  Life changing news.  Thank your lucky stars that you know me.  And now for the pic of the day...
At the insistence of her mother, Adeline is training to join the circus.

Probably the best word which can be used to describe the person in this picture is ornery.  Let me know if you have a better one.  Turd is already taken.

Only the astute Popeye lover would realize that this truly is a good impression because of the fact that Popeye only has one eye (the left eye, just like Adeline in this picture) and it happens to be blue (just like Adeline in this picture).

Bonus Question:  What is the name of Popeye's ship?

I guess Adeline is going to take after her mother after all.  I came downstairs after my nap and diaper change only to find the little miss in her swing choking her Zebra "friend".  I thought that Kimberly would be the only one who kicked dogs and tortured cats but I guess things like that run in the blood.

We thought it was only right for Adeline to have her very own tree in her room. So mommy went out and found the perfect tree for the little lady.

Someone has been just a little bit jealous of the new found fame of his sock-stealing sister so I have been forced at clawpoint to post this picture of the other man of the house.  I must tell you that you are looking at probably the coolest cat in the world so be sure to remember this face.  Just before this photo was taken he was busy arguing with Stephen Hawking about quantum entanglement and entropy.  I'm in the "who cares unless it helps Cheez It crackers become even cheesier" camp on this one.  I'm pretty sure Bay-dog is with me.

Oh yeah,  HAPPY THANKSGIVING everyone.

Kimberly and I are eternally grateful to our babysitters for helping us out so much.  Pretty much at any time Megan, Mom, or Joe and Bonnie are up here watching the little poopinator.  There is a point where you ask yourself "Should we really trust our child with this person anymore?"  This was one of those times.
I have no idea how much time Joe spent on photoshop getting this to look so awesome but I'm impressed.  Either that or this little one is more like her pops than anyone thought (she's quite the daredevil).

Happy BirdDay.  Just think, 5 months ago (when this picture was taken) you were 5 months younger (yeah, I'm good at math too).  Oh, what I'm sure you'd do for a time machine.  Too bad  I've got a patent on it and I'm not selling until Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak agree to make iTunes more user friendly.  I guess you'll just have to accept that you are older today than you were yesterday.

Nope, looks like I might have lied.  Same old dog, new tricks.  I suppose the adage that you can't teach an old dog new tricks would only apply if you don't have a child.  Well, I have a child (and Kimberly has two including me) and if you think that Marley was the worst dog ever ever in the world ever then you my friend are incorrect.  You can walk through my yard and find a minefield of baby socks, baby diapers (as opposed to these), bottle nipples, paper towels, and other random plastic things.

Ohio State University is the school I currently attend and they happen to have a football team.  For the most part they disappoint me.  Why the heck can't they blow teams out of the water and win by 40?  Well, because Jim Tressel gets paid to win, not win by 40 (also because they don't have a quarterback named Ben Weisenberger who will check out of a run that the coach called to drain the clock and instead throw a fade for a touchdown).
Last Saturday Kimberly twisted my arm hard enough and I took her to a football game being played between the Buckeyes of Ohio State and the Cornfeds of Iowa.  I'm pretty sure that is their mascot.  It may have been a pretty good game to watch on TV but it was definitely boring sitting in the stands, until the last 5 minutes that is.  Here are some pictures.
4th quarter view from the best seat in the house......our seats.














Game winning field goal in OT.  If you look closely you can see the football in the air.  If you look even more closely you will see Jon Welch with a single tear trickling ever so gently down his face.  Poor fella, must be hard to cheer for losers.









Here are a bunch of fools running onto the field only to find out that there really weren't free hotdogs at center field.  I had to hold Kimberly down so she wouldn't run out there too.  She loves hotdogs.











Dr. Pepper.  That's as close as I have to an Ohio State shirt.  I'm a fair weather fan.  You may notice that Kimberly is wearing a replica jersey from her favorite OSU player of all time, Troy Smith.  She wakes up sometimes mumbling his name.  It is kinda unsettling.








Just two days ago another kind central Ohio pup fell victim to the knife that me and my boys were wielding.  Well, Brian was wielding the knife.  James was just wielding a bunch of drugs and a pad of paper.  I of course was wielding a package of radiopaque sponges and a brain full of encyclopedic knowledge of canine anatomy and surgical procedures.  This time the dawg's name was Tank (most fitting name ever).  He really needed to be separated from his testicles because of his propensity to hump anything/anyone near him.  Here are some pics of our most recent success story.

Good old Tank getting ready to chow down on some grub before getting some pain meds and being put up for the night.












Tank and his surgeon/favorite target.  (It's not cheating if it's your dog) Another textbook procedure in the books.
















I've got some pretty exciting news to share with everyone very soon so keep an eye on this blog for something potentially life changing.

November 7, 2009 was the inaugural King family hayride and "bonfire".  Yeah, bonfire is put in quotations because I expected more effort out of Mr Joe King.  Here is a picture of the so-called "bonfire".
Pretty weak right?  This picture kinda makes me think of Paul Hogan.  Please tell me you agree.  I really just wanted to say "That's not a fire, that's a fire" right as I flipped a small car with one hand and lit it on fire with my laser beam vision.  Don't worry, next year Joe is going to come through in the clutch and probably have a really sweet fire that will get the fire department called out to his farm.





I couldn't really argue with the hayride part of the ordeal because it was exactly that.  It really took me back to the days when the whole Methodist church would make the trek to Chris and Hirk Scott's to have a fun night of food and hayride.  I'm sure that most of you will remember those good old days.
As you can see there are quite a few ladies on this side of the family.  It's gonna make for an interesting few years when they are all teenagers.
Adeline is doing the patented pucker that gets her so much attention from me because I think it is funny and cute.









The crew is ready to roll.  As you may notice there are a few ladies missing.  Grace decided to take a sabbatical to St  Louis and Kristen was home with Ellie(yeah another girl under the age of one) because she was a little sniffley(see how much I'm learning in school).









 My lovely ladies.  You too Bonnie and Carly.














The grandparents at some rock that has some significance in some way that I'm not familiar with and all the little ladies.













I'm lactating.  Gynecomastia is tough to deal with but I'm getting along just fine.















The girls huddled close for warmth.  Probably won't be able to get a picture like this again.....ever.













Here you see the two most special women in my life.  They are pretty awesome. They are pretty too.
































And that was the inaugural King family hayride and "bonfire".  Maybe next year everyone will actually show up and we'll have a real fire.

Of course I am sending my congratulations to both the Allsop family and the Sharp family. They welcomed some small humans into this world last week.  I've only seen one of these creatures in person and he is a cute little booger.  It's kinda hard to believe that the little miss of the zoo household was once that small and flaccid.  Huh, for some reason that sounded dirty.  Anyway, here are some pics and once again, CONGRADULATIONS (see, I am from Bainbridge).

Elliott Bruce - welcome to the family.






If you are interested in finding some pictures of the parents of this kid you should probably go here.

If you think that heading is about me you are one incorrect fellow.  I've been lazy, lazy, lazy.  I just thought that it might grab your attention and make you wonder what I've actually been up to, keep in mind that most of the things I will write about will be complete fabrications that would seem to be truth in order to make me sound like I've got a busy hectic life.
The last time you heard from me I was explaining to you how awesome my new game is and how everyone should try it because it is the cats pajamas.  So far only one faithful zoofan has subscribed to what I'm a'dealin' and come on board to the awesomeness that is Shoot the Shooter (I'm glad that you are able to experience the adrenaline rush Kelsey).  Don't worry though because I have recently been in negotiations with Parker Brothers and Milton Bradley to get a board game made out of this amazing idea so the masses who aren't as cameragenically gifted my play and enjoy.
I don't know if everyone knows about the greatest free show on earth, but I'm about to tell you all about it.  This "show" happens to be the Circleville Pumpkin Show which is a festival celebrating everything pumpkin.  I know what you are probably thinking right now, "Doesn't the title of greatest free show on earth belong to Mardi Gras in New Orleans, Louisiana?"  Well, of course it does, unless you are from Podunk, Ohio and you have never heard of Mardi Gras or the phrase "earn your beads" (a personal favorite of mine).  So to all these central Ohioans who love to worship everything pumpkin this is not only the greatest free show but also the greatest show (don't mistake show with movie because everyone knows that the greatest movie is Titanic).

At this show you will find pumpkin donuts, pumpkin chili, pumpkin pizza, pumpkin muffins, pumpkin omlets, pumpkin shoes, pumpkin fried pumpkin, real big pumpkins, pumpkin chicken, pumpkin kabobs, stir fried pumpkins, pumpkin rice, pumpkin burgers, pumpkin pie, pumpkin man, pumpkin ice cream (a personal favorite), etc.  I was lucky enough to see the world's greatest pumpkin pie as well as pumpkin man when I attended.











































































Along with all the pumpkin junk was all of the other "fair food" which is pretty awesome.  So pretty much you walk around the streets of Circleville being thankful that you aren't the biggest hillbilly around (400,000 other people claim that title) and enjoy the food.  Sounds like fun huh?
The next night I decided it would be a good idea to go and run a 10k at Ohio State.  Probably wasn't such a good idea in hindsight since it was about 45 degrees and monsoon raining.  I did give Brutus Buckeye a high 5 at about the 5 mile mark though.  It was at that point when I realized that I need to carry a camera when I run because sometimes awesome things happen.  Yeah, that's right, Pumpkin Man and Brutus Buckeye.  It was a pretty pivotal two days in my life.  I now have a goal of becoming an icon of some sort.  Haven't figured it out completely yet though.
One week later and Halloween was upon us.  Adeline thought it would be cool to dress up as a lamb which her mother already let you guys in on.  Adeline also wanted me to dress up, so I did.  She kept begging me to dress up like one of her idols, so I did.  Here is a picture of me at the Dead Celebrity 3 miler with my friends Brian (Billy Mays) and Emily (Bea Arthur) Lynch.  Who am I?